


The battle against the mirror

by Windfighter



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Gen, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 17:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16623284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Windfighter/pseuds/Windfighter
Summary: One evening Elvira makes a decision that will change her life forever.





	The battle against the mirror

**Author's Note:**

> Ahaha so this story is probably just a bad excuse to tackle some personal stuff but eh, I was suggested to put it up anyway so here it is! Apologies in advance!

Elvira stared at the mirror, pulled the brush through her hair. It was too long, she hated it, but it made her mother happy. There wasn't much she could do about it. She gathered it behind her head, tried to imagine herself in shorter hair. Maybe something like her father? ...A little too short maybe. She let go of the hair again and it fell over her shoulders. She actually liked her hair, it was thick and blond and beautiful. It was just a little too long.

She put the brush away, pulled her fingers through the hair. It sparkled in the light. She left the bathroom, almost tripped on the hem of her skirt as she walked back to her room. Neither her mother nor father was home to say good night to her. She heard the nanny on the lower floor. Dishes clinked in the sink, then the water stopped.

”Are you going to bed now, sweetie?”

Elvira bit her lip. Her mother called her sweetie, that was _fine_ , but the nanny doing it was _wrong._

”I am”, she answered. ”Make sure you don't disturb me.”

She ripped the skirt off, glared at it and threw it into a corner of the room. Her father was never home anyway. Probably disappointed that he had gotten a daughter instead of a son. Elvira tossed her shirt over the skirt. Considered setting them on fire. She grabbed the nightgown, stared at it and let it fall to the floor before putting on a large sweater instead. She crawled down under the blanket, rolled up under it. The nanny had put a hot water bottle between the sheets and it was warm and cozy. She let her body heat up before rolling over to her back, putting her hands over her stomach and closing her eyes.

_I hate being a girl._ She didn't know why she hated it, but it was wrong.  _From tomorrow I'm a boy._

 

Elvira woke up early. Her parents were sleeping, she could hear them snoring. The nanny wouldn't come for anouther four hours. She gathered her dresses and skirts. She had so many off them.

”You'll look so pretty in this one.”

”This one really brings out the colour in your eyes.”

”You look _adorable._ ”

Always her mother, her father sometimes managing a somewhat approving huff, but he didn't look and she didn't want him to look anyway. She stuffed them in a bag, hid them away in a corner of the attic. No one would find them there. All the pretty and adorable shirts also ended up in a bag in the same corner. She put on a pair of pants and a black turtleneck. Grabbed her hair and frowned. She snuck to the kitchen. She wasn't allowed to use the knives. The nanny took care of making food so Elvira didn't need to worry about that. She grabbed one of the knives and snuck back upside. Locked the door to the bathroom. She had to take a deep breath before going up to the mirror.

The edge pulled at her hair, ripped it. It was uncomfortable and her eyes teared up. Large chunks of hair fell to the floor. She shook her head, ruffled her hair, looked in the mirror.

No. Not her hair. His.

Emil pulled his fingers through his hair to get rid of any loose strands, then tried to get it to lie perfectly. It sparkled in the light. He gathered the hair on the floor, threw it in the trash and stared into the mirror again. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't even, honestly it looked terrible. But it was so much better. He smiled at the mirror. His mother would get upset, but it was finally right.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So... yeah, I know it's not *that* easy, and that this is a lot more complex topic and you don't just *decide* one day that nope I'm gonna be another gender from now on. I tried to allude that the thoughts had been there longer for him but did I succeed? I don't know. Hope you uh... somewhat enjoyed it anyway?


End file.
